Is the Lightweight Hair Dryer Good?

Get To Know If Lightweight Hair Dryer Are Optimal For Getting Salon Styled Looking Hair?

In the modern world, people are highly concerned with their styling and overall personality for looking good enough. Hairs carry a crucial role in styling your hair to the fullest and better looking. Hairstyling products have become common nowadays, and people are using them very often for styling their hair to the best.

Hairdryers are the basic hair styling products that make your look gradually better and highly textured. We are assisting you with details regarding the aspect if using the best lightweight hair dryer is a convenient option for one or not. If you are keen to learn more regarding the aspect, consider reading the article until the end.

Is the Lightweight Hair Dryer Good?

Why are lightweight hair dryers better?

With the advanced technologies, we are provided with dozens and dozens of options of the appropriate hair dryers for ensuring bouncy and better-looking hair. It is better to use for the best lightweight hair dryer with better, healthier, and denser-looking hair. A lightweight hairdryer weighs less than one pound, which makes it convenient for people to use it. When it comes to a hairdryer with heavyweight, then it is a little hard to use them during hair drying. When you divide your hair into sections for optimal hair drying and then using heavyweight hair dryers, then it would surely make your hair damage-prone and worsening the health of your hair.

It would be optimal to consider the use of lightweight only that assists in managing your hair. Heat is spread evenly into the hair and making your hair drying faster with the lightweight hairdryer. It is better to use for the iconic conditioned feature of the hair dryer for improving the texture of your hair. Lightweight hair dryers prevent heat from getting directly to the roots and damaging your hair follicles.

So if you have finer hair health and want to safeguard your health from damage for making them healthier, consider going for the best lightweight hair dryer for salon styled looking hair.

Things to know about an ideal hairdryer!

When pondering to get a convenient hair dryer that can correct your finely and allowing you to get bouncy and healthier hair, then you need to know several aspects before getting one for you. We are here stating a simple guide of things to know about an ideal hair dryer for salon styled looking hair for upgrading your personality to its best.

Ceramic vs. metal heating feature

You need to know about the hair dryers, whether it has ceramic plating or metal one. When getting a hair dryer with metal ones, then it is more likely to damage your hair due to the excessive temperature of the product. Due to heat, hair might get burnt obnoxiously. Hence it would be better to go for the ceramic ones that radiate heat evenly into your hair and making it look better without damaging it.

Iconic feature

It is a better decision of yours to cling on to the hair dryer with iconic drying feature. Dryers with iconic features dry your hair faster as compared to the other ones due to the presence of negative ions, causing H2O molecules to divide your hair into smaller particles. Devoid you from getting cheap hair dryers with metal or another plating that can damage your hair to a greater extent, and it is surely not appropriate at all for your hair. Getting good quality hair dryers with the iconic feature allows hair cuticles to get nourished and moisturized in a better way.

Lightweight

Lightweight hair dryers are much better for you as those are easy to use and make it convenient for your hair to correct your hair with styling. It is better to consider for the weight of the hair dryer as lightweight hair dryers weigh less than a pound and which is suitable for one to style your hair with more convenience and handle it well.

Multiple heat and speed settings

Different heat applicants are designed with different heat settings and speed. Varying hair types require varying styling products, so it is better for you to choose for the heat temperature and to blow the degree of the hair dryer for ensuring better performance of the heat applicants.

These are some of the primary points in the listing of the essentials that you need to consider for while getting the best lightweight hair dryer and correcting your hair for making them healthier and bouncy.

Pro tip

Well, you have taken a complete insight into the lightweight hair dryers that make your hair look much better without much hassle. Here is a pro tip for you that can help you to get your hair from frizzy to the textured and glossy one. You need to make sure that you are using hair styling products when your hair is half dry as you shouldn’t be going for water dripping hair to get blow-dry as it can make your more damaged. Additionally, make sure you are going through pre-treatment of your hair before exposing it directly to heat. For pre-treatment consider using hair products that are heat resistant and prevent your hair from getting damaged excessively and retaining the natural shine of your hair. You must be practicing this tip while blow drying your hair to better looking and healthier hair with the use of lightweight blow dryer.

Wrapping up

Let us wrap this up as we have taken a deep insight of the details stated above for getting convenient hair dryers. In addition, it is transparent from the facts stated above that people should be considering for the use of lightweight hair dryers instead of approaching heavyweight ones.

Additionally, follow through a series of step for blow drying your hair to maintain their shine and minimizing the damage of your hair. You can be surely considered regarding the details stated above in the article for comprehending more about blow-drying.

How Does Hair Gel Work?

The hair gel makes your hair looks good and they help you style your hair and set your hair according to your wish. It helps your hair to get in shape by forming a separation between each strand of your hair. Listed below are the ways how the gel works in your hair

PVP

The best hair gel for men consists of the polyvinyl pyrrolidone which is also known as PVP which has the capability of dissolving into any polar solvents resulting in the formation of the films. Each strand of your hair is then separated by the hair gel and the film is formed between each strand. After the hair gel gets dry, the polymer gets shrink and helps your hair to set for the whole day and you look as fresh in the evening as you were in the morning.

Also, the hair gel includes the positive charges in a particular area that gets attached to the area which has negative charges. This helps the hair to get bind together or stick together and you get rid of all the hairstyle problems that you face because of your too-short hair or too light in weight hair.

How Does Hair Gel Work?

Polar Solvent

The best hair gel for men usually consists of the alcohol which is a drying agent and gets dry too quickly on your hair. This will help your hair on your hand to stay still as you have styled them in the morning and you can easily style your hair the way you want to. But there is some air gel also available in the market which does not consist of the alcohol but in place of it uses the marshmallow or the aloe Vera as a polar solvent which is very harmful to your hair.

And thus, it does not even style your hair properly and you cannot even set them for a wet look. Managing your hair without the alcohol as the polar solvent becomes really difficult for you and they can also act as the dry agent also which helps the hair gel on your hair to get dry quickly.

Easy to manage

It does not matter if your hair is short or fine, the best hair gel for men will help you to style them best. Also, if you are living in a humid area that adversely affects the health of your hair, then also the hair gel comes in handy. Again, if you have frizz and you cannot control them, then the hair gel will help you in taming them with ease by setting them in a proper manner.

And for the wet look, which is a desirable look for every man, the hair gel is the most useful product to be applied to your hair. It will not only help you in managing your uncontrollable hair but also give them texture and style them at best for you to look the best in any function. It will also help you in sticking your hair up even if they are short in length.

Hold moisture

The main function of the best hair gel for men is to leave the moisture on your head and let your head scalp stay hydrated. Furthermore, it will also keep the dryness out of sight and leaves all hair problems sorted out. It is also used to protect your hair and if you have curly hair then this hairstyle will get highlighted and more enhanced. It will also keep your hair in its place by setting them with the help of the polar solvent. Your best hair gel for men will also help you in controlling the frizz and holds your hair in its place with flexibility. Your hair by using the hair gel shines and looks beautiful and also it helps you to manage them with ease.

Safe to use

There is hardly any hair gel that uses any harmful chemicals in it and the best hair gel for men only consists of the beeswax, oil and emulsified water in it which is all-natural, so there is no question of causing damage to your hair. The hair gel does not even cause any dandruff as it is only applied on your hair strands not on your scalp so there is not any possibility of hair gel disturbing the natural oil on your scalp. The hair gel is only used to style your hair.

Water-soluble

The best hair gel for men basically contains the ingredients which are easily soluble in water so it is possible that you can restyle your hair in whatever style you want to. You can save the hair gel of yours by simply spraying some of the drops of water on your hair and this will help the gel already present on your hair to get activated again and you can again change the hairstyle.

Moreover, it is very easy to remove the hair gel from your hair by simply washing your hair with water and shampoo without any extra effort. You can reshape your hair by using some droplets of water on your head and can again rock any event using the best hair gel for men. By rinsing your head using the water, you can easily break the combination of the water solvent with the polyvinyl pyrrolidone (PVP).

Conclusion

To get the hairstyle according to your wish and sets the same as it was in the morning and you look the same in the evening also. The best hair gel for men is an essential product to use on their hair to let them being stylish and look fresh for the whole day. We highly hope that with this article you can understand how the hair gel works in your hair and you can style your hair according to your desire and you can look stylish and handsome for the whole day. The hair gel works as the blood capillaries do in your body.

Can You Get Rid of Forehead Wrinkles?

People take care of their skin and want it to, look smooth and youthful. Nobody wants any type of wrinkles on forehead or any other part of the face. Another thing that people do not want on their skin is fine lines. There are many remedies available to get rid of these wrinkles. Besides this, some more things can be adopted so that skin can be kept healthy and free from wrinkles. Here are some of the ways for this.

Skin should be kept hydrated

One reason for wrinkles on the forehead is dried skin. The cells present in the skin contract due to deficiency of moisture and this can lead to fine lines and wrinkles. People need to be concerned about the dryness of skin and keep it hydrated with a moisturizing cream that suits the skin. It is a good option to use the moisturizer daily once or twice.

Besides moisturizing creams, people can also use those best wrinkle cream for forehead creams that are specially developed for wrinkles. People can also use facial creams for forehead also in order to reduce the visibility of wrinkles on forehead.

Can You Get Rid of Forehead Wrinkles?

Anti-aging routines should be started soon

People should start anti-aging treatment of the skin. There is no restriction age. People can start it at the age of 20 or 40. When people get older, the elasticity of the skin starts reducing. Production of natural oils decreases which results in the loss of fats. All these things show more lines and wrinkles on the face. People need to start wrinkle treatment of the forehead with the help of creams.

Serum of Vitamin C can be used

People can find many anti-wrinkle creams in the market. Besides creams, many other products like serums are also available. People need to check the ingredients of all the products before purchasing. They also need to check whether the cream is good for their skin or not. One of the best ingredients in a serum is vitamin C. The antioxidant property of this vitamin helps in protecting the cells from getting damaged. The content of vitamin C in most serums is around 10%. It helps in reducing the wrinkles. The serum has to be applied in the morning and evening. People should apply it after cleaning the face and before using any moisturizing cream.

Be aware of sun protection factor

Ultraviolet radiation is another reason for wrinkles on the forehead. In order to protect the skin from the harmful rays of the sun, people need to use various kinds of skin care products. These products must have broad-spectrum sunscreen for protecting the skin from the sun. There are many moisturizers available, which can be used for the purpose. The moisturizers consist of sun protection factor or SPF to protect the skin.

Usage of hyaluronic acid

When people go to purchase moisturizers and creams, they need to check whether they have hyaluronic acid or not. This is one of the most useful ingredients, which must be present in these creams. This ingredient helps in reducing the wrinkles on forehead. The task of this ingredient is to reduce the depth of the wrinkles and making the skin firm and elastic. Serums can also have this ingredient, which will be effective on the wrinkles.

Facial expressions

Another big reason for the growth of wrinkles on forehead is the facial expressions. Studies have shown that when there is a movement in the facial muscles, it leads to the formation of a groove under the skin. This results in causing flexibility in the skin when people become old. Later on, these grooves become permanent as the skin loses its elasticity. This results in the wrinkles on the forehead. People cannot avoid making expressions but they need to take care that repeated actions can lead to wrinkles.

Performing Face Yoga

Face yoga is a technique, which will help people to avoid wrinkles. There are various types of exercises and poses, which people have to follow in order to avoid wrinkles. People need to perform these exercises on a daily basis and people need to practice it to get habituated. The routine should include 20 to 30 minutes daily for the exercises. People will be able to see the results after three weeks.

Usage of coconut oil

Coconut oil is a good option as it moisturizes the skin of the forehead and people can see reduction in the wrinkles. The antioxidants present in the oil have the capability of controlling free radicals in the skin tissue. In order to apply the oil, people need to take some of it in palm and massage it on the forehead till the time the oil is absorbed. The oil has to be applied before going to bed and it should be left overnight.

Usage of Castor Oil

Castor oil consists of Ricinoleic acid, which works as a skin-conditioning agent. Antioxidants are also available in the oil, which has the capability of preventing skin damage from free radicals. This makes the forehead skin healthy. People need a teaspoon of the oil, which they have to apply on the forehead with tapping method. The oil has to be applied one time daily.

Usage of Citrus fruits

Citrus fruits have vitamin C and E in abundance and both of them are very essential for the skin. The capillaries of the skin get strength from the flavonoids present in the fruits. The fruits boost the production of collagen and elastin. People can mix a teaspoon of lemon juice and mix with three teaspoons of water. They can use a cotton ball to apply the mixture on their forehead and after that, they can wash it.

Wrapping up

These are some of the remedies which people can use in order to get rid of the wrinkles on the forehead. People need to check the ingredients of the cream and serum so that no problem occurs when they use them. People can also use home based solutions like coconut oil, citrus fruits, castor oil and others which can be applied on the forehead to reduce the wrinkles.

Interesting Finds

If you’re stuck for things to look up, here are some things I’ve found I think are worth taking a look at.

Vintage Adverts.  I think the sanitized tapeworms are my favourite.  No doubt someone will be looking at our adverts someday and marvelling at how backward we must have been.

Because a flat tyre is as much an inconvenience as rape.

If My Name Was.  Beautiful, bespoke dresses by Edinburgh-based designer, Laura Davidson.  Be someone else for the night.

I wonder what sort of life they’ll find on Mars.

Slut Walk.  I wouldn’t have thought that “no means no” was so difficult to remember, but apparently, every generation needs to be reminded.  I don’t know that using the word “slut” aids its credibility, though.  It’s not a word that’s ever had connotations of empowerment.  Quite the opposite – it’s only ever been used against women and the attitude behind its use is an integral part of the ‘blame the victim’ treatment of those who have been raped.  I don’t think it’s a word there’s any point trying to reinvent when there are so many positive ones we could use to describe ourselves.

Yarnbombing.  Knit one purl one: an innovation in peaceful protest and urban art.

Vivienne Westwood’s Get A Life and her thoughts on the environment, politics, and culture.

Stirrups and Stories Powerful, candid, funny, splendid, and much needed.

Narrative Nipple. Looking for poems, stories, pictures, rants about people’s experience of breast cancer.

The Zimmers. Fabulous old folks with a collective age of almost 3700 and still singing and dancing their troubles away.

Seeing a Man About a Dog.

Sigh.   Some of my friends love seeing a man with a baby, but really, it’s baggage in a buggy.  Baggage that throws up on you and tends to come with a mum attached who’s unlikely to be thrilled you’re trying to steal her man and her baby.  How attractive.  A man being nice to a dog, on the other hand, is verging on divine.  Out of pure self-indulgence (as if writing a blog is anything other than that, come to think of it) so I can see it whenever I want, here’s Josh Lucas being nice to the dog in Red Dog.  He’s on the set so he’s not even being paid to be nice.  Sigh again.

Stalked by a Psychic

I’m being stalked by an online psychic.  She started off quite nice when I clicked on the ad and said yes I’d like a free online psychic reading.  Her site said she had to spend the night tuning into me then would send me the reading the next morning.  When it arrived, it rambled on and on promising romance just around the corner, irresistible offers, a period of great creativity, exciting possibilities, an unexpected and wonderful gift, recognition for great professional achievement – everything short of a lottery win, basically, and all the things a girl wants to hear.

I got a bit bored about half way through because she hadn’t exactly gone out of her way to come up with anything super exciting or useful and she’d spelt my name wrong so she can’t have been that tuned in.  I didn’t take her up on the offer of another psychic reading at 25% off or 30% if I shared the offer with my friends.  She wrote again a few times over the next couple of weeks with increasingly urgent subject lines about just how fabulous my life could be if I followed her guidance, signing each one “Your devoted friend, Tara”.  “Great good fortune is at your doorstep,” she said, then “An urgent and personal message”, “Read this quickly, there is no time to waist” [sic], and “here at last is the solution to all your problems”.

Then she seemed to think a different tack was needed if I was to stop my foolish, misguided ways and look, instead, to her for guidance.  She told me “Something is happening”, “72 hours from now it will be too late” and “I have to help you make the right choice”.  She felt “an urgent need to prepare your astral chart” after “a strange premonitory vision” and discovered that someone was out to harm me.  She said she could tell me everything – how to “neutralize the harmful actions of someone close to you who wants to ruin your hopes and dreams, and turn your entire financial situation around and attain the balance and harmony of a happy life”.  Yesterday’s instalment was “Do you want to face these terrible moments alone?” followed by a plea in block caps underlined four times to sign up for my “sensorial vision study and you ritual of ultimate protection, which we’ll have to perform as soon as possible”.  All quite tantalizing stuff. I was going to block her, but I’m quite intrigued to know which armageddon is likely to befall me next.

She hasn’t been to my house, that I know of, but she does seem to think she’s seen into my soul which probably means more to her.  I hope so – she’d be the most annoying person to have around.  Sort of block caps with a falsetto delivery.

Birthing Aliens

The fibroid in my uterus is so large, the doctor says, it feels like I’m pregnant.  I tell him I’ll be seriously pissed off if I am and the only way it could have happened is through some sort of alien abduction where they sedated and impregnated me.  If something green and vaguely humanoid (or not) bursts out of me like it did to Sigourney Weaver in Alien, spawning a frenzy of feminist critiquing, I’ll go with the abduction theory.  Another possibility that the doctor doesn’t suggest but that I’ve heard of, is that there are bits of a twin I sort of ate in the womb.  A friend of mine had the cells that make up teeth and hair attached to one of her ovaries.

Barring either possibilities, fibroids it is.  The doctor says I’ll need a scan to find out how far the fibroids have spread so we can decide on the best way to treat them.  He says there are treatments to shrink and remove them without affecting my fertility or damaging my uterus, but a hysterectomy is the most common procedure.  Taking out my womb.  Right.  I tell my mum about it who, unhelpfully, says that “the alternative lot” would say that, because I spent time thinking about having my tubes tied a few months ago, my body has responded by making the decision for me by filling my uterus with benign growths.  What a load of fucking shite, is all I can think to say and I take out my irritation at the idea that people get the conditions they deserve on the clips I hammer into the wall to hold my telephone extension cable in place.

Georgia, Minnie and Olivia come to see what I’m up to and give the cable a nibble in case it’s one of the delicacies they’re convinced they’re going to find on the floor one day.  Olivia’s booked in to get spayed the week after next and, as she boings about, over-enthusiastically nibbling bits of me, I wonder if she’ll know something’s changed.  Will she feel suddenly incomplete – somehow less of a doe because she has a gap where her womb used to be?  Does the inability to have baby rats make her less female or won’t she care because it’s just a process and, though an instinct to care for her young would kick in when they were born, there’s no emotion attached to any of it – it doesn’t come with the baggage humans attribute to it?

Being female is something I know quite a lot about.  I am one, for a start.  I’ve spent a great deal of time talking, thinking and writing about being a woman – who we are, why we behave the way we do, what we want, what we don’t want, what we’re told we should want no matter how damaging it may be, how we are versus how we’re supposed to be.  I’ve been calling myself a feminist since my teens.  I sign petitions against the stoning of rape victims accused of adultery.

I lobby MPs for women’s right to have equal representation in the workplace and education; access to free, clean and legal family planning, abortion and aftercare; to be free to dress and behave however they want without fear of assault and, should they be attacked, to be able to report it and seek prosecution without being subjected to attempts to discredit them at every turn and to the sort of interrogation usually reserved for criminals.  I campaign against the sexualisation of girls from an increasingly early age which has led to the loss of childhood to porn; the sexism and mysogyny gone viral in our media; and the societal attitudes that allow pictures of women breastfeeding to be banned but groups who make jokes about rape defended as examples of free speech.  I’ve read the books and written one of my own, looking at the ways indecent exposure affects and reflects our views of male and female sexuality.  I’ve got a “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like” t-shirt, dammit.

I know all this stuff – I’ve got a head full of it.  What I didn’t know was what my uterus had to do with any of it.  I campaign for women’s right to choose what they do with theirs, but until I found a fuck-off fibroid in it, I’d never really thought about my own.  I’ve known I don’t want kids for the past few years – I don’t like most of them and the unrelenting labour of caring for them makes me want to have a nap just thinking about it.  I used to think, if I got pregnant, I’d have an abortion, but then my nephew was born and the smile he gave his mum when she said “and it was you in my tummy!” made me realise I couldn’t go through with it.  Thinking that, if I wouldn’t get an abortion, it was better not to get pregnant in the first place, I went to the doctor to ask about getting my tubes tied. I smiled while he drew a diagram of my reproductory system and explained which bit was which and where the clips would go.  He told me it was irreversible (it isn’t, though reversal success rates aren’t brilliant) and there was a great difference between not wanting to have kids and not being able to.  Therefore, I needed to consider it carefully.

Now, unless a less invasive procedure works, I’ll be having my womb taken out.  No fibroids, no periods, no babies.  It’ll be super!  I think, but I’m not always sure.  I know we’re not just our reproductive systems.  I know it’s just anatomy.  I know my womb isn’t some dumping ground where fibroma flourish to punish me for all my no-children-thank-you thoughts.  I know a womb maketh not a woman.  I know there’s a helluva lot more goes into being a woman than the ability to reproduce, but there’s this thing like a tiny stick figure in my head that says, minus a uterus, I’ll somehow be less of a woman.  It’s a pointless and nonsensical thought, but it’s there.  Like there’s no pleasing me – I might not want to have kids but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be able to have them even though I don’t want them.

I want to tell the stick figure to shut up.  It’s my womb and I’ll have it taken out if I want to!  My friends make me laugh, telling me it won’t make the slightest difference, I’ll always be “all woman”, and asking if I’ll still be able to orgasm – “First things first honey!”  Yes, lots of orgasms and no babies or periods, I say.  Of course, this might all be academic.  I’ve read about the other treatments so often I’ve started dreaming of a powerpoint presentation on them given by my doctor (in stilettos for some reason) so it’s not like I don’t know there are other ways to go.  Maybe the £21.99 investment in a mooncup won’t be a waste of money (it’s not like I can give it to the charity shop), maybe I’ll still get periods, maybe that stick figure will go away till it finds something else to make me wonder about, maybe I’ll have all those orgasms and no kids or periods.  So many maybes.  There’s one thing of which I’m certain, though – if there are any aliens, teeth or hair in there, I don’t want to know.

What Women’s Hearts Desire

Whether we know it or not, this is what women’s hearts desire.  Drawn by D.W. Kellogg, sometime around 1833-42, he attributed it to “A Lady” and warned of the dangers to those who travelled in the land of a woman’s heart.  I think “Tenting Ground of Uncertainty”, “City of Moi-Meme”, “River of Drain the Purse” and the mole traps in the “Province of Deception” are my favourites.

Writing to Jack

Sorting through a pile of childhood stuff my mum brought round the other day I found a fan letter I’d written to Jack Nicholson when I must have been about 14.  It was very earnest with a Shakespeare quote because I’d read in an interview that Meryl Streep had sent him one and he’d loved it.  She also had an actual friendship with him rather than an imaginary nothing, but that didn’t seem to matter to me.  I don’t know what hers said, but mine went “I would be that I am had all the maidens in the firmament twinkled on my bastardising”.

I explained the quote carefully because I didn’t want him to think that “bastardising” was a reference to him never having met his dad – I just meant that he did his own thing regardless of what “all the maidens” might want him to.  Something along those lines anyway.  I never posted it, though, so I’ll never know what he might have thought of the letter I wrote and re-wrote endlessly in my head.  I don’t remember telling anyone about my Jack worship.  I just scoured the Radio Times, Smash Hits and Empire Magazine for pictures and taped an interview from Radio One I listened to so many times the tape recorder overheated and melted it.

Apparently quite liberal with my affections, I cheated on him with other crushes – a bedroom wall-to-wall with Mel Gibson, a sideways glance at a couple of my brother’s friends, an hilarious history teacher, and a feeling that somewhere out there was something brilliant that would come along and we’d have this life together that I could almost imagine but not quite.  (I’m still waiting.  The imagined life has gone through many incarnations, but if I could remember what I wanted then, I’d probably find I’ve never strayed much from the teenage longings I couldn’t quite articulate.)  I had a friend who wanted to have her English teacher’s babies and another so obsessed with Keanu Reeves she actually thought he’d marry her and cried whenever she saw pictures of him with a girlfriend.  The teacher was dull as dishwater and Keanu, having peaked with Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, was already pretty past it.

There were a couple of girl crushes, too.  I was still hazy about what being a lesbian actually meant so I don’t think it occurred to me that there might be anything sexual about the girls – they just had a certain something.  I remember being terrified when one came into the restaurant where I was waitressing and I had to take her order.  She turned her lovely face towards me and this horrid tight-lipped nasal squawk came out.  It ruined the whole thing and I’m not sure I could pick her out of a line-up now.

Jack, on the other hand, still has whatever that certain something is and I read recently that he’d like to have one great love before he dies.  I don’t pore over pictures of him like I used to and there’s the occasional bit of reality in my love life (its nonexistence or a man driving me so bloody crazy I wonder if anything in the whole world is worth it), but I wouldn’t turn him down.  I’m still touched whenever journalists refer to his vulnerability in interviews.  Sad, I know, but I don’t care.  I’ve heard it said that we never get over our first love (mine was a beautiful cat who I wouldn’t get neutered so he went off to gallivant about with the lady cats and never came back), but I think crushes last longer.  It’s probably something to do with the total absence of reality.  Whatever it is, they’re marvellous.

Wear Your Hair Just for Him and Other Ridiculous Relationship Rules.

“Men don’t pursue women who are pursuing them.”  These words of wisdom are from Christian Carter, dating guru, and author of How To Catch Him and Keep Him (a title that contradicts all his advice, but that he presumably thinks is what women want to hear).  He was so tickled with his edgy take on the “don’t call him he’ll call you” rule of relationships he had to say it twice to a roomful of eager women sat with notebooks and pens poised to take down every one of his “dating secrets from a male mind”, most of which appear based on the assumption that it’s all your fault if you haven’t found The One.

You’re just not doing it right with the result that any man you approach is traumatised on a daily basis by such things as asking him how his day went, talking about anything even remotely related to emotions, or failing to read his mind.  When you first see him you’re not allowed to engage him in conversation unless it’s with a coquettish “is this seat taken” followed by an unneeded trip to the loo designed to intrigue though god knows how, or a fake question that makes you sound like an idiot and him feel superior.

If you do actually get to talk to him, in between loo-breaks and questions you already know or don’t need the answers to, conversation has to be kept frothy and frivalous and you must never ever suggest you want to see him again.  Such behaviour constitues pursuit and that “violates some secret natural law in the world – a psychological, social imperative for us humans and it’s completely unconscious”, says Christian.  Indeed.  It’s so unconscious, givers of relationship advice have to keep reminding us just how important it is.

Wear Your Hair Just for Him and Other Ridiculous Relationship Rules.

“If you have sex with him on the first date, he won’t respect you.”  This piece of advice harks back to a more chivalrous (and, possibly, completely made-up) time when the concept of women initiating sex was as revolutionary an idea as the earth being round.  It’s based on the assumption that men want to have sex all the time and women will only have it if they’re cajoled, forced, drunk or loose enough to give in to a man’s demand for it.  It’s part of the virgin-whore cliche that I’ve never entirely understood, but I think means we’re either regarded as a prude or a slut.  Why anyone would give a shit about being called either, I don’t know.  What does concern me slightly is the assumption that neither women nor men have any autonomy over their sex lives – when there are innumberable, and more serious, ways in which to gain or lose someone’s respect, having sex before picking out wedding china seems pretty insignificant.

Wear Your Hair Just for Him and Other Ridiculous Relationship Rules.

“Show him that you care just for him/Do the things he likes to do/Wear your hair just for him.”  This, from Dusty Springfield, possibly the most accommodating, forgiving woman the world has ever heard, is how to get your man: total reinvention of yourself as his ideal woman.  I’m not sure what sort of humanoid creature you’d end up being if you replaced your personality with everything he wanted in a woman.  I imagine it would be a pretty boring and how far would you take it?  You’ve already ditched your friends, taken up an interest in paint balling, and got a new ‘do.  What more does he want?

Wear Your Hair Just for Him and Other Ridiculous Relationship Rules.

“Let him take the lead.”  So says The Rules, a book I think should be banned and every copy burnt.  Apparently, men like to feel in charge and that they’re the ones running the show.  If you follow The Rules’ way of doing things (please don’t), you’ll spend your time making him think he’s in charge while quietly undermining his authority in ways he might not notice at the time but will provide him with ample grounds when you end up in a divorce court because the woman he married turned out to be a person and not the android she pretended to be till she’d got him up the aisle.  The Rules claims to have many success stories from women who’ve followed it and got that man.  They don’t have any little-while-down-the-road followups, though, so the world will never know quite how things turned out when she stopped pretending to be too busy to talk for more than three and a half minutes on the phone and he stopped pretending to find her amateur theatrics irresistible.

Wear Your Hair Just for Him and Other Ridiculous Relationship Rules.
John Bull,1950s,UK

“Play the damsel in distress to get what you want.”  I don’t know where this bit of advice comes from, but it won’t go away.  Whining, pouting, baby talk, fake crying and generally acting like a nitwit to get a man to do what you want never seem to go out of fashion.  I don’t really know who benefits from such antics.  In the time spent warbling “pwetty pwease with sugar on top”, she could have learnt how to change the lightbulb, fix the wheel bearings, unblocked the shower drain and, quite possibly, run for Parliament.  Men, surely, don’t feel so insecure they need to be reassured constantly of their ability to carry out the most basic diy by a woman with the vocabulary of a preverbal infant who then oohs, aahs and claps her hands in delight at her man’s competency with a picture hook, nail and hammer.  Or maybe they do.